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Family Guy
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Christmas is tomorrow, and that woman who normally does everything had to go help her sick aunt or something. -You mean Lois?
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This just in. Husband does what wife normally does, comma, makes headlines.
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Why are you taking our Christmas tree? -Why are you in pigtails and a little girl's nightgown?
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My name is Glenn Quagmire. I'm just calling to see if I have a payment due on my Discover card.
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I think we've been robbed.
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I want my presents.
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Remember how you said you wanted a gift from the heart this year? -Well, we all got you something.
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You know, I'm actually starting to not feel well.
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Would you mind going out and grabbing some medicine?
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So, I ran some tests and it's official: you all have the flu.
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