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The Simpsons
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A woman is more like a beer! They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one. You want to drink another woman!
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Will you look at those morons? I paid my taxes over a year ago. -That was last year's taxes. You have to pay again this year.
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You've been flushing for twenty minutes. Is there a problem? -No, Principal Skinner. -Very well, I'll continue to wait.
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I put the tax forms on top of your to do pile a month ago. -I have a to do pile?
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How can you like that guy? -I don't know. Maybe because he's an outlaw. You know that dead body they found behind the mayor's house? -Jimbo killed him? -No, but he poked him with a stick.
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Marge, how many kids do we have? Oh, no time to count. I'll just estimate. Uh, nine.
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It was a moonless night, dark as pitch, when out of the mist came a beast more stomach than man. -Hey!
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Let's say you pull a thorn out of the pope's butt, and he grants you one wish. What'll it be? -Only one, huh? Well, I've always wondered what it would feel like to wear something that's been ironed.
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Mrs. Simpson, isn't it true your husband once consumed a ten pound bag of flour when no other food was available?
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Somebody spilled beer in this ashtray.
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