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The Simpsons
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A man's suit should make him feel like a prince. It should cry out to the world: Here I am! Don't judge me! Love me!
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Our first issue, sir, is our low productivity and record high worker accident rate. -Any suggestions? -A round of layoffs might wake up the idiots. -We could put caffeine in the water cooler.
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Well those are my ideas! You people don't think, you regurgitate.
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And what does my little girl want? -An absence of mood swings and some stability in my life. -How about a pony? -Okay!
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I want you to weave that patented Simpson magic with my executives. A short speech, work work work, you know. - Uh, well okay, what the hey? -Excellent.
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Mr. Burns, it is my sad duty to report that one of your executives has bilked the company insurance plan out of a thousand dollars. -What! Blast his hide to Hades!
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What do you want? -Oh, just thought I'd drop by to tell you that you're fired. Our company does not look kindly upon one thousand dollars worth of insurance fraud.
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Have I done something extraordinary here today? No. I did what I was born to do, what any good soldier would have done when a live grenade threatened his commander. I threw myself upon it and bore its terrible brunt.
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I'm not gonna kill you, but I'm gonna tell you three things that are gonna haunt you for the rest of your days: You ruined your father. You've crippled your family, and baldness is hereditary. -It is?
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You've got that big speech in five minutes, Simpson, huh. You're not gonna hang yourself, are you?
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